Stay Off Defense (#1-8)

Do not let yourself be put on defense when the other person has made the claim being discussed. It is far more effective to encourage her to prove her view is right than for you to work to prove her wrong. Remember you are not out to win; you are helping her to thoughtfully consider her position. Remind yourself that you are in complete control of your side of the conversation. You have no obligation to cooperate with anyone trying to set you up with leading questions – even if you are using leading questions. Politely refuse to answer the person’s leading questions. Then, ask him to simply state his point and his reasons for it so you can give the matter some thought.
When someone asks for your personal views about a controversial issue, you might start with a question to set the stage in your favor. Say, “You know, this is a very personal question you’re asking. And while I don’t mind answering, I want to know if it’s safe to share my views. So let me ask this question: Do you consider yourself a tolerant or an intolerant person on issues like this? Do you respect diverse points of view, or do you condemn others for convictions that differ from your own?”
Next time: When you are labeled “intolerant.” In Christ...